::So Grateful for Our Little Girl::

I have wanted to write about motherhood for a while now, but I have just been so busy being a new Mommy and soaking in all these precious moments that I haven’t really made the chance to sit down and write all of the feelings that I have had these past two wonderful months.

My labor and delivery experience was all that I could have wished for and more. I was induced and was actually in labor for 30+ hours, but I felt so calm and so excited for our little girl to arrive that I was unrattled and enjoyed everything (mainly in part to an amazing epidural and a blessing that my husband had given me). The moment was finally here. Many women wait 9 months to meet their baby… I had been waiting a couple years to meet mine. I had my own little entourage there to support me; Daniel, my Mom, and my Sister Kari-lynn and her 5 month old, Gavin. My Mom and Husband were standing right by my side and as soon as I started pushing, Daniel began to get so emotional. I loved seeing his joy and excitement as he anticipated meeting our baby, this had been a long road for him too and I don’t think there has ever been another man on this earth who has been so excited to become a Daddy. I am so grateful that I had my own little cheerleading section there, every time I needed to push, they all encouraged me to keep going and it just made me want to push harder and keep working even when I was getting tired. I know that it sounds so strange, but I really enjoyed my delivery experience and having so much encouragement that I said, “This is so much fun!” The doctor and the nurses looked at me a little strangely, I think they thought I was being sarcastic but when they realized I was serious they laughed and told me they had never heard anyone say that before. I only pushed for 30 minutes but it felt like 3… just like that our little Blakely was born… and she was so beautiful. They took her to the other side of the room to clean her up and I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. Then Daniel held her and it melted my heart seeing this amazing man that I love so much, finally hold his little girl. 

Then I got to hold her, and I never wanted to let

go… It was almost like I had always known her… Seeing your baby for the first time is such a hard thing to describe, but I finally felt whole and complete in a way I had never felt before. Blakely has brought such a great spirit of peace into our home, I have never understood God’s love or have felt the power of it as much as I do now.

My trials have taught me so many things, but the greatest lesson that I have learned from them all is this… God Loves ME. He knows ME. He is mindful of ME. He wants me to be the best that I can be. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) we are taught that we are sent to this earth for a purpose, to learn and to grow and to try to become our best selves that we can possibly become. I have learned that a huge part of becoming my best self has been my trials, they have taught me more about myself than life without them would have. I have heard people say that they have come to a place where they are grateful for their trials… I am not sure that I will ever be able to say that I am grateful for loosing my Dad and Father-in-Law to brain cancer… but these trials of loosing them have taught me that life is so short and I need to live it to its fullest. I need to be happy and have joy and have faith in God’s promise that I will see them again. I am not sure that I will ever be able to say that I am grateful for the trials of having miscarriages… but these trials have taught me to rely on the Lord and in fact I believe that they made me a better mother for when Blakely finally came. I just felt such an overwhelming sense of peace… yes motherhood is hard, but it is so beautiful… I have honestly loved every moment of it. I just stare at my little girl and praise God in my heart that he trusted ME enough to give me this perfect little girl. She is just the most perfect and most beautiful little angel and she was well worth the wait.

I am not sure that I will ever be able to say that I am grateful for the trials that I have had, but I am so grateful for who they have made me become.

I believe that it is in our darkest times that we come to know God more fully and we can feel him more near. When my dad was diagnosed I remember thinking, can life get any worse? Then my father-in-Law was diagnosed. Then my Dad passed away. Then I had my miscarriages. Then Daniel’s Dad passed away. I am not sure why trials and hardships seem to go so closely back-to-back but it makes me think of Job in the Bible… God knew that Satan could tempt him and take all that he loved away from him and Job would not forsake God.  In no way would I ever compare myself to Job, but it brought me comfort knowing that God trusted me to go through all these things and not forsake Him… even if I felt at times like God had forsaken me. In the darkest moments of my life He was there. My prayers were answered, perhaps not in ways that I would have imagined them to be answered, but they were always answered.

Blakely has been my biggest answer to prayer and now that I have her I realize how incredibly special she is. God needed me to go through all that I did so that I could be a better mommy and so that I would never take for granted a second of this wonderful gift of motherhood.

Nursery Reveal!

It is time! With a month left now, we have finally finished our nursery! And we have loved putting it together and wanted to share it with all our friends and family to see... we can't wait to bring our little girl home!

This room has been a full-time job for Daniel and I. For the past two years this room was the bane of my existence... it was empty and it continually reminded me of the trials that I was having with pregnancy. So this time when we found out we were pregnant again I told Daniel we needed to paint it... I was determined to be optimistic and darn it... we were going to paint even before we knew what we were having! We chose a beautiful soft grey that would work great for a baby boy or girl! Once we found out it was a girl I went and found these soft purple/white drapes that really softened the room.

Our first job was buying all the furniture that we needed... I am a weirdo and I have to get a good deal for things, I find great satisfaction in the hunt and knowing that I walked away with an amazing deal. First I did my research, I knew I wanted a white nursery and I familiarized myself with name brands and reviews. We went to baby stores and made lists of everything that we wanted for the baby... and then I attacked craigslist. I would check craigslist about 3 times a day looking for specific items and if they didn't have what I wanted or if the price was too high then I waited for something else to come along... we did have 9 months after all!

Very early on I realized that if I bought everything that I wanted right out of the store, it would cost me a bajillion dollars, and while we are on a student budget... that just wasn't going to be happening! My goal was to find high quality furniture and refinish it to make my own nursery set of my dreams!

On CL I was able to find a dresser/changing table that was high quality (real wood, great condition, and dove tailed drawers) If I was going to spend any time refinishing furniture I wanted it to last! We were able to negotiate and buy it for $60... it was the most expensive piece we bought in the entire nursery, but it was my missing puzzle piece that I needed... and through all the research I had done I still felt great about the deal we made.

We sanded and painted, sanded and painted, sanded and painted, sanded and painted! Daniel added the beautiful brushed nickel knobs as well and it really tied everything together!

One day whilst going out and about to garage sales, we came across a set that I wanted. The armoire was absolutely beautiful and provided some much needed storage. The owners were actually selling the armoire, the Shermag rocking chair/glider and ottoman, and a matching crib. All the pieces were in excellent condition but the downside was that the crib was a drop down gate crib and I really wanted a sleigh crib. So we did what we do and we made a lowball offer and walked away with all three pieces for $75! But my favorite part of the story is that I put that crib on craigslist the next day and sold it for $100! 

 Thank heavens my mom came into town to help me recover this little beauty. I would never have been able to wrap my mind around it without her... and it is always so much fun to have projects when you have a friend to help! I was able to get the fabric for super cheap at JoAnns (thank you coupons!) and we went to work cutting, sewing, stuffing, and constructing! I love the unique pop that it adds to the nursery and I can't wait for the countless hours that I will sit there holding our baby girl.

Next was the crib... after all the sanding and painting I knew that I wanted to find a crib that was already white. I also didn't want to have to worry about painting something where our baby was going to be spending so much time and would likely chew on. All the work paid off, I responded to an ad on CL within 30 minutes for a white Million Dollar Baby convertible Crib... we got this little gem for $40...

When all was said and done, we purchased all of our nursery room furniture for $75!

Daniel and I had different visions on what we wanted above the crib... I was leaning towards making a photo and frame collage but he didn't love that idea. Together we found these fun canvases on pinterest... (sidenote: that is the sign of a good man... someone who will pinterest baby stuff with you!) They were selling a different version of them for $30+ a canvas... so i decided to make my own! I already had the canvases so i painted them and set to work making the little felt flowers.... they are the most time consuming and intricate little things ever... so after lots of cutting, hot glueing, and 10 burnt fingers later... we were so excited about how it turned out and how perfectly the purples matched with the bedding!

My other art work came from pinterest as well (what did we every do without pinterest?!) I saw this canvas on there and knew I had to make my very own! Thankfully I had all the supplies! Viola!

We just finished with our final touches! My mom is an angel and printed our baby announcement on canvas for us and she also found the perfect lamp for the room! 

I couldn't have finished this project without my mom who helped me with the chair and gave me her opinions over facetime, my sister who was always so encouraging and helped me to figure what I would really need and use, and of course my amazing hubby! He spent countless hours painting and sanding and moving furniture. He is the most handy man I know and I am so grateful that he was so patient with me throughout these past 8 months of hard work (while going to grad school full-time!)

I love all the details that have come together. Sometimes I just walk into this room and sit on the glider and can't wait for this little one. Often I walk down the hall and catch Daniel standing in to doorway just looking in and admiring it. And after months and months of hardwork (especially by my manly hubby) we are ready to welcome our little angel into this little piece of heaven that we have made for her.